To have a successful and healthy relationship with another person you must first have a successful and healthy relationship with yourself. This requires making a journey of developing and maturing as an individual, becoming fully conscious and ready to relate to others. Relationship Skills for Individuals Six Mondays, April 5 - May 10, 6:00 - 8:30 PM. Kaiser Permanente, San Jose 5755 Cottle Road, San Jose. To register call: 408-972-3340.

Find out what Narcissism is and why you need to know how to deal with it. Narcissism in the 21st Century: A Call to Consciousness Wednesday, May 12, 2010 6:00-9:00 PM. Location: Divine Science, 1540 Hicks Avenue, $35, $40 at the door.

Learn to express yourself and own your power. Assertiveness & Self Esteem Six Thursdays May 13 - June 17, 6:00 - 8:30 PM, Kaiser Permanente San Jose. Call 408-972-3340.

Communication Skills for Individuals. This class is for those who want to expand their skills repertoire and work specifically on communicating effectively during conflict. The class emphasizes the use of physical and emotional boundaries. Six Mondays, May 17 - June 28, 6:30-8:30pm. Fee: $80 Kaiser members, $125 non-Kaiser members. To register: call 408-972-3340.

In addition, I'm working on a series of workshops on Skills to Deal With Narcissistic People. Stay tuned for more details...

Powerful Affirmations and Prayers - Audio Program
Positive Affirmations & Prayers to Lift Your Spirits Audio Program.

Also available as an MP3 Download from Amazon

Affirmation: I honor, acknowledge and allow my feelings to flow freely through me.

Quote: "Unshed tears will soon make organs weep." Henry Maudsley

While teaching a class recently, the subject of feelings came up. We were discussing using Affirmations for growth and personal development when someone asked the question, "What about the negative feelings that are underneath the surface?"

I thought this was a really good question. So many people appear to be stuck on this one. Including me. I have struggled so much to turn my attention away from the very painful actions of significant people in my life and some significantly painful losses, knowing that it doesn't do any good to dwell on them, but at the same time knowing that I need to honor my experience. When we try to move ourselves or someone else to 'reframe' our negative thinking/feelings and to affirm a positive truth in the midst of pain and grief too quickly, it's like sticking a bandaid on a broken leg. The remedy doesn't address the wound and it leaves it festering and infected.

I see it all the time in clients and friends, people struggling to avoid feeling their feelings and others trying to prevent them from feeling their feelings because it makes them so uncomfortable with their own unfelt feelings.

If you are a person who truly wants to free yourself from the past and move on to live consciously and intentionally then the truth is, we need to feel our feelings. We can't actually grow if we're not willing to feel the experience? And we can't learn if we don't let ourselves process what actually happened. Feeling feelings. If you want to grow, you can't get away from it.

Feelings, nothing more than feelings. When we actually allow them to happen, they don't kill us. We don't fall apart. We don't collapse and become unable to function. What happens is that we are released from them, their energy and their power. We are then free to act in whatever way makes sense to us without being controlled by something unseen and unacknowledged. And that is when we naturally want to move to the positive.

If you are feeling stuck in your efforts to work through unresolved grief or feelings, you may benefit from Spiritual Counseling and Coaching. For more information, see my website www.theevolvingself.com. Or contact me to set up a complimentary 30 minute session to explore what Spiritual Counseling and Coaching can do for you.

Newsletter Archives:
March 2010 - When Life Kicks You in the Butt/Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries

February 2010 - I Forgive Myself/Emotional Programming

January 2010 - Narcissism: Why Should I Care?/The Call to Consciousness

For a class I'm currently taking that involves a review of all the major religions in the world and their views of what happens after death, the topic of reincarnation came up and the concept of "choosing our parents" before we incarnate.

At this point, science has been unable to discover what happens to us after we die, or at least to be able to come back and report it. The closest anyone ever gets is near-death experiences, but the whole idea brings up some interesting questions.

I look around and see a lot of people who are dealing with a good deal of pain and heartache because of the actions or inactions of significant people in their lives, often having started with their own parents. But what if we consciously chose the parents and family we were born into? What if we made that choice specifically because of the experiences it would provide? and what if those were the exact experiences we needed to have to cause us to grow and expand as a person? Has it ever occurred to you that you would not be the person you are today, but for all the experiences you had through your life, good and bad?

What is your life experience calling forth from you? What opportunities to grow and expand can you find amongst the sorrows and heartache in your life? What response could you give to your life experience that would take you to a deeper level of consciousness?

The upcoming seminar, Narcissism in the 21st Century: A Call to Consciousness is based on the idea that dealing with challenging people is indeed a 'call' to a deeper level of consciousness. Please join me on Wednesday, May 12, 2010 6:00-9:00 PM. Location: Divine Science, 1540 Hicks Avenue, $35, $40 at the door.

In addition, Spiritual Counseling and Coaching is a great way to learn from your life experience. For more information, see my website www.theevolvingself.com. Or contact me to set up a complimentary 30 minute session to explore what Spiritual Counseling and Coaching can do for you.