I was at the grocery store one day pushing my cart up and down the aisles, when I paused to wait for a couple who were deciding on an item. As the man reached in front of me to pull an item off
the shelf, he said, "Excuse me."
I was so delighted with his politeness that I commented to him, "Thank you so much for acknowledging me." He turned to his companion and said, "See? I'm not the only one." We laughed and high
In the grocery store or any store for that matter, I often find myself feeling frustrated that people aren't more polite when they reach in front of you or block the aisle, or even clip your heel with their cart. Of
course, the battle in the parking lot is even worse. The bottome line: I think there is a general increase in incivility in the world.
Here are few contributing factors.
#1 People have different training. While I was raised during a time when manners and etiquette were very important and were frankly, hammered into my head. Not everyone has the same standards of behavior. It doesn't necessarily mean
that one way is right and the other wrong. However, manners are not taught formally as they once were.
#2 I don't know if you've noticed it, but people are totally checked out. I don't think the average person is lacking in intelligence, however there is strong evidence that some people aren't employing the
intelligence they have. They're not paying attention. You typically won't use your best manners if you just don't see the other people around you because you are preoccupied with something else. Need I bring up the subject of
the phone/tablet trance that many people are in?
#3 Many people just don't care. Yeah, I see you, but you and your needs are so unimportant to me that I just blocked it out. I am way more important than you anyway, therefore, you should wait for me. This is called
#4 The Toothache Syndrome: People are so focused on their own pain that they don't care about or even see anyone else. People seem to be more angry, more afraid and more depressed than ever. I can't say whether that is a
symptom of what's going on in their personal lives or a reflection of the world as a whole, but it shows.
I have been spending a lot of time lately on personal growth efforts. Specifically, to connect with my needs and feelings. The more I find ways to honor my needs and to love myself, the nicer I am to people I encounter in my