Learning to Deal with a Narcissist Workshops Dealing with the Effects of Narcissism, Thursday, August 12, Boundaries-Thursday, August 26, and Interacting with a Narcissist-Thursday, September 9, 2010 6:00-9:00 PM. Location: LifeCompass Training Center, 454 Kenneth Street, Campbell. Fee: $25/each

Assertiveness & Self-Esteem Learn to express yourself and set healthy boundaries. Six Wednesdays, September 1-October 6, 6:00 - 8:30 PM. Kaiser 408-972-3340.

Find out what Narcissism is and why you need to know how to deal with it. Narcissism in the 21st Century: A Call to Consciousness Wednesday, October 13, 2010 6:00-9:00 PM. Location: The Enlightened Mind, 209 E. Campbell Ave., Ste 220, Campbell, $35, $40 at the door. Call 408-205-2783.

Powerful Affirmations and Prayers - Audio Program
Positive Affirmations & Prayers to Lift Your Spirits Audio Program.

Also available as an MP3 Download from Amazon

Affirmation: I deserve to have healthy relationships.

Quote: "The sign over their door ought to read: Abandon Self All Ye Who Enter Here." Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW (referring to people entering into a relationship with a narcissistic person)

There seems to be some confusion these days about what exactly it means to have good self-esteem. When we use the term self-esteem, we're really just talking about the level of value and importance we assign to ourselves. This is a surface level value and does not reflect unconscious beliefs and issues. Therefore it is possible to have good self-esteem, while still having negative core beliefs and self-loathing. How is that possible?

Without going into a lesson in psychology, let me just say that the human psyche is pretty complicated with various levels of awareness and defense mechanisms such as dissociation and denial. Suffice it to say, that we have a level of consciousness that is well, unconscious. Therefore, it is actually possible to be driven by beliefs we have about ourselves of which we are unaware. This helps to explain why some people appear to be over-compensating for negative core beliefs, by exaggerating their accomplishments and characteristics. When this becomes a regular pattern, it is typically called, narcissism.

The DSM (Diagnostical and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) calls narcissism, "A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts." The effects of being around a person with this pattern of behavior whether that is a parent or partner is challenging to say the least and can have a profound negative impact on one's self-image and well-being.

Check out the upcoming Learning to Deal with a Narcissist Workshops.

I also work with individuals one-on-one to help them learn healthy self-love, setting boundaries and much more. For more information, see my website www.theevolvingself.com. Or contact me to set up a complimentary 30 minute session to explore what Spiritual Counseling and Coaching can do for you.

Newsletter Archives:
July 2010 - Cracked Open/Are You Shoulding All Over Yourself?
June 2010 - I Just Want to Love and Be Loved/Narcissism
May 2010 - I Yam What I Yam/Living Your Life On Purpose

The term narcissism comes from the mythological story of a Greek youth named Narcissus, who rejected the romantic advances of a nymph named Echo. As punishment for his behavior he was cursed to fall in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. He became so infatuated with his own image that he was unable to leave it and eventually died on the spot, where he was mystically transformed into the flower still bearing his name today.

Narcissism is named after Narcissus, and both derive from the Greek word narke "numb" from which we also get the word narcotic. Thus the Greeks Narcissus stood for vanity, callousness and insensitivity, as he was emotionally numb to the entreaties of those who fell in love with his beauty. Narcissus died because he could only love his image at the expense of himself.

Narcissism Personality Disorder (NPD) was first included in the Diagnostical and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in the third edition (III-TR) published in 1980. While there are nine criteria listed, a person need have only five of them to be diagnosed with NPD. (Vaknin 1999, Malignant Self Love)

The prevalence of the actual disorder is growing, but even more so some specific behaviors are becoming more common, for instance entitlement, (criteria (5) "has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations") is growing especially in younger generations.

Find out what Narcissism is and why you need to know how to deal with it at Narcissism in the 21st Century: A Call to Consciousness Wednesday, October 13, 2010 6:00-9:00 PM. Location: The Enlightened Mind, 209 E. Campbell Ave., Ste 220, Campbell, $35, $40 at the door. Call 408-205-2783.

Check out the upcoming workshops...
Dealing with the Effects of Narcissism-Thursday, August 12, Boundaries-Thursday, August 26, and Interacting with a Narcissist-Thursday, September 9, 2010