Relationship Skills for Individuals To have a successful and healthy relationship with another person you must first have a successful and healthy relationship with yourself. Six Thursdays, December 3 - January 21, 2010 (no class Dec 24 or 31), 6:00 - 8:30 PM. Kaiser Permanente San Jose. 408-972-3340.

Learn to reprogram your inner critic...
Using Affirmations to Raise Self-Esteem Workshop
Wednesday, December 16, 2009, 6:00 PM - 8:30 PM. Kaiser Permanente, San Jose. Call 408-972-3370.

Find out what Narcissism is and why you need to know how to deal with it. Narcissism in the 21st Century: A Call to Consciousness Wednesday, January 13, 2010 6:00-9:00 PM. Location: Divine Science, 1540 Hicks Avenue, $25.

Powerful Affirmations and Prayers - Audio Program
Positive Affirmations & Prayers to Lift Your Spirits Audio Program.

Also available as an MP3 Download from Amazon

Affirmation: I trust in the perfection of this moment, that all is exactly as it should be.

Quote: "If you walk twenty miles into the forest, you have to walk twenty miles out." Unknown author

Have you ever worked diligently to set a boundary in a healthy way, e.g. carefully thinking it through, planning what to say and calmly saying it clearly and directly, to have the other person initially appear to comply and then revert back to their original behavior as if you had never even said it? Setting boundaries in any scenario is challenging for many people but when the other person appears to be blatantly ignoring them, it makes it even more challenging.

When people ignore boundaries, it usually has to do with their stuff. It may be they have needs that never got met. Maybe they don't know how to ask for what they need in a direct way. Acting as if you never set the boundary is a defense mechanism, it puts you in a position of having to enforce your boundary.

If it was challenging for you to do the first time, the second time may be even harder. Didn't I already say this? What was unclear? Am I dealing with an adult or a child?

If you are feeling angry, frustrated and even downright outraged, you have an opportunity to work on your stuff. Rather than focusing on how wrong the other person is and what could possibly cause them to behave in such a juvenile manner, you could turn your attention to what is going on with you.

Maybe you never had someone who acted as an advocate for your needs. Maybe you have an underlying fear of not being able to take care of yourself. Maybe you were punished for standing up for yourself. Exploring this could lead to releasing feelings that have to do with that old stuff and nothing to do with the current situation and then...when all that is clear you can get back to the business of enforcing the boundary.

This and much more is explored and discussed in the Relationship Skills for Individuals class starting December 3, 2009. I invite you to join me in exploring what it means to have a healthy relationship with yourself as well as others.

Another upcoming opportunity to learn about setting boundaries with difficult people, Narcissism in the 21st Century: A Call to Consciousness Wednesday, January 13, 2010 6:00-9:00 PM. .

Newsletter Archives:
November 2009 - What is Your Intention?/Surrender

October 2009 - Self-Sabotage and Procrastination/The Lost Art of Grieving

September 2009 - The Definition of Insanity/Affirmations Have Changed My Life

NEW: Please check out my new website as it grows and expands daily: www.theevolvingself.com

CD and Holiday Spiritual Counseling and Coaching Specials
I'm currently offering specials on my CD's and Spiritual Counseling and Coaching services. Learn more by visiting my new website: www.theevolvingself.com

Recently, I had an issue come up for me with another person. I didn't even see it at first and then it suddenly hit me, "Here it is again, that same old issue, the same experience I've had with so many other people in my past." Man, I thought I was done with this one, why is it still coming up?

First I want to say that "our issues are in our tissues". Although that is a cute little saying, it speaks a very big truth. That is, when we have experiences, especially early in life, they become imprinted on our nervous systems and our brains develop accordingly. In other words, our neural connections become conditioned to a pattern of sequences that match the experience. Oy! Does that mean I'm doomed for life to keep re-enacting the same stuff over and over?

Fortunately, no! However, I'm going to have to work at raising my consciousness to make different choices and take different actions when those issues come up. As long as I'm acting on my conditioning, I will repeat my past mistakes.

If you are finding repeating patterns happening in your life, I would encourage you to consider the Relationship Skills for Individuals class starting December 3, 2009.

You may also benefit from Spiritual Counseling and/or Coaching. I'm offering a Holiday Special on both starting in December. Click here for more details or email me to set up a complementary 1/2 hour consultation.