Relationships Workshop: How did I end up with this person anyway?
Taking time to consider the patterns we create in relationships and why we ‘attract' certain people can help us to end destructive patterns and go on to create more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
Wednesday, February 1, 6:30-9:00pm. Fee: Kaiser members $15, Non-Kaiser Members $25. Registration: Call Kaiser, 408-972-3340

Assertiveness & Self-Esteem
Learn to express yourself and set healthy boundaries. Six Tuesdays, February 28- April 3, 2012, 6:30-9:00 PM. Kaiser San Jose. Call 408-972-3340 to register.

Powerful Affirmations and Prayers - Audio Program
Positive Affirmations & Prayers to Lift Your Spirits Audio Program.

Also available as an MP3 Download from Amazon

Affirmation: I step boldly into the light of my purpose, graciously embracing success, prosperity and abundance.
Quote: "I am no longer willing to give away my power." Cheryl Richardson, Stand Up For Yourself

On New Year's Eve I went to see the movie, The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo. It was a pretty intense movie with lots of the good stuff, you know, sex and violence. I am, of course being facicious, however there was one particular scene that was quite profound as it brought home one of the biggest issues people have in relationships.

The character, Mikael played by Daniel Craig was hired to research the Vanger family to determine who had murdered a young girl over forty years earlier. Not only had he figured out that the murderer was Martin Vanger, played by Stellan Skarsgard, but that Martin was actually a serial killer. Just outside Martin's home, Mikael's intent is to steathily slip away into the night, but his noisy fall attracts Martin's attention. He is invited in 'for a drink' and politely complies. Later, Martin who is preparing him for torture, wonders at the fact that Mikael's fear of being impolite was greater than his fear of pain.

It might seem obvious to the onlooker of this particular story, but in real life, this happens all the time. We trade our comfort, our needs, our peace of mind to avoid offending another, going along with their plans, filling their needs, etc. all the while tolerating some level of discomfort or pain.

I want to invite you to consider where in your own life you might be trading your own well being simply to avoid an uncomfortable interaction. This behavior represents a pattern for many people.

If you are interested in exploring the patterns in your relationships, please consider the upcoming Relationship Skills Workshop, How did I end up with this person anyway? Wednesday, February 1, 6:30-9:00pm. Fee: Kaiser members $15, Non-Kaiser Members $25. Registration: Call Kaiser, 408-972-3340


December 2011 -The Meaning of Christmas/The Heart of Christmas
November 2011 - The Currency of Needs/Giving to Ourselves
October 2011 - What Are You Thinking About?/Stay Hungry, Say Foolish

Be careful this is a trick question. Many people would be quick to answer yes, especially if you work hard at a career or job in your life. However, the most common issue I see amongst my clients and often in myself is fear of success.

In her book, Stand Up for Your Life, Cheryl Richardson says, "If you cannot set and keep firm boundaries, you will always fear the added responsibility that comes with more success."

When that is the case, we will literally find ourselves self-sabotaging our own success in unconscious and sometimes even conscious ways because deep down we don't believe that we deserve it. It doesn't match the image we have of ourselves, we're afraid our success will offend someone we love, or that we literally couldn't deal with the demands that come with success.

Standing up for ourselves in an assertive, firm but kind way is something we can learn with commitment and practice. Look for the next Assertiveness class at Kaiser starting February 28.

In addition, I work individually with people who are choosing to learn to have a healthy relationship with themselves and others. Please contact me to set up a complimentary 30 minute session to see if Spiritual Counseling and Coaching is right for you or go to my website: www.TheEvolvingSelf.com