About Narcissism
This seminar is for people who are challenged by the narcissism of someone in their life. Narcissism is considered by many to be one of the fastest growing and challenging personality issues of our time. People with these characteristics can be found anywhere, at work, friendships, spouses and families...Learning to effectively deal with narcissistic people is essential to our own sanity and effectiveness.
About Narcissism Wednesday, July 27, 6:30-9:00PM. Kaiser Permanente, 5755 Cottle Road, San Jose. Members: $15, Non-members: $25. To register: Call 408-972-3340

Relationship Skills for Individuals: Six Mondays, August 22 - October 3, (Skip Sept. 5, Labor Day) 6:30-9:00PM, Kaiser San Jose. Call-972-3340.

Mindfulness & Women's Health
This is a new class emphasizing mind-body health for women in a social support format. Personal development practices such as mindfulness and journaling will be emphasized along with reading from relevant texts and group discussion. This class is being piloted at Kaiser San Jose starting Tuesdays, August 23 - October 25 from 4:00-5:30PM. Please contact me for more information or call Kaiser at 408-972-3340 to register.

Powerful Affirmations and Prayers - Audio Program
Positive Affirmations & Prayers to Lift Your Spirits Audio Program.

Also available as an MP3 Download from Amazon

Affirmation: I have the right to say 'no' and to give what I truly want to give.

Quote:" "Normal" people adapt to their environment - both human and natural. "Abnormal" ones try to adapt their environment - both human and natural - to their idiosyncratic needs..." Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self Love

In my years of teaching communication skills and boundaries, I have come across many common challenges among my students and the inability to say 'no' is one of them.

Many people say 'yes' and then shortly later realize they got themselves into something they didn't really want to do. Others are so afraid of not being able to say 'no' that they don't even let you finish making the request before they turn you down. Many other people are automatic 'yesers'. The thought never even crosses their minds that saying 'no' is an option, much less something they feel comfortable saying. Typically it is the automatic 'yesers' who end up resentful and angry as they agree to do things for others because they feel obligated.

When 'no' is not an option, a person will typically feel an overwhelming fear that they will get swallowed up by the needs of others and lose themselves. Probably because they came from parents who never resolved their own neediness and childhood issues.

It's important to realize however, that the current issue is with the person who feels they can't say 'no'. If I do something for you because I feel obligated, it is my issue, not yours. Digging deeper into the 'why's' typically reveals my need for approval and fear of abandonment/rejection. While these deeper issues are challenging and sometimes painful to face, it is in doing so that I begin to free myself from their unconscious influences. I free myself to make conscious choices and to commit only to things that I truly want to do.

As a Spiritual Counselor and Life Coach, I work with individuals one-on-one to help them develop healthy communication habits, self-love, and to uncover the unconscious beliefs that are preventing them from living a life they love and enjoy. For more information, see my website www.theevolvingself.com. Or contact me to set up a complimentary 30 minute session to explore what Spiritual Counseling and Coaching can do for you.

Newsletter Archives:
June 2011 -Acceptance/Blame
May 2011 - Fear of Success/The Shame Blame Game
April 2011 - Don't Believe Everything You Think/SAD

There are many people who seek to control situations, people and things because they have an underlying fear of uncertainty and chaos. But there is one who needs to be in control of every encounter and especially with the people closest to them and that, of course is the narcissist.

Through manipulation and emotional blackmail, they will attempt to maintain control of the conversation and your response by utilizing every tool they can bring to bear. Typically this involves tactics like intimidation, verbal attacks, criticism, anger, and rejection. If those don't work, they may resort to playing the victim, using physical ailments and even crying.

Most people fall prey to these tactics at least once because most people have an underlying need to be liked and to please others. Especially vulnerable are the rescuers and care-takers.

To learn a better way of dealing with people who use these tactics, we need to look at the buttons within us that are being pushed and work at removing or reducing our automatic responses. We need to become conscious of our own vulnerabilities and work at healing unresolved issues from the past.

And finally, we need to learn to detach with love, practice healthy communication skills and learn how to set and maintain healthy boundaries.

If you relate to these experiences, you might want to consider the upcoming seminar, About Narcissism Wednesday, July 27, 6:30-9:00 PM.

In addition, I work individually with people who are seeking relief from falling prey to the tactics of narcissistic people. Please contact me to set up a complimentary 30 minute session to see if Spiritual Counseling and Coaching is right for you or go to my website: www.TheEvolvingSelf.com