Did you know that I teach Stress Management at Kaiser San Jose and it is free to Kaiser members? There is a class starting Wednesday, July 22 from 6:00-8:00 PM (eight weeks). Please call 408-972-3340 to register.

Assertiveness & Self Esteem
Learn to express yourself and own your power. Six Thursdays June 16 - July 23, 2009 6:00 - 8:30 PM, Kaiser Permanente San Jose. Call 408-972-3340 to register.

Positive Affirmations & Prayers to Lift Your Spirits Audio Program.
Now available as an Amazon MP3 Download

Affirmation: I speak my truth with grace and love.

Quote: "Anytime you stand up for yourself, you're in essence telling yourself and the world around you, 'I am no longer willing to give away my power'." Cheryl Richardson

When I was a little girl I had a "Kiddy Car". It was basically a tricycle encased in metal in the shape of a little car. I loved it and it was mine. One day I was playing with my best friend, Collette who wanted to ride my Kiddy Car. I wanted it for myself however, so as she sat in the driver's seat, I jumped on the hood of the car and started batting my hands and fists in her face in an attempt to get it back. Interestingly, I don't actually remember this incident. My mother enjoys retelling it to me, so I only have the benefit of her memory to recall that there was a time when I knew how to stand up for myself.

The "killer instinct" I'm referring to here is that part of us that knows our worth and importance and urges us to go after what we want and need. As we develop and mature in life, we can learn to do this in a respectful way in which we also consider the needs of others. Some of us however, have lost this natural instinct.

What is it that kills the killer instinct? Etiquette and socially acceptable behavior tells us that we "share" our toys. So complying with society's "norm", I learned to give up my own needs and desires in favor of others, I learned to feel guilty for having needs and desires, I felt resentful that others were enjoying what I wanted and needed and I never really learned to give from my heart because I was always acting out of obligation. Can anybody relate to this?

I'm not suggesting that we go around taking what we want without consideration of others whether it's ours or not, but there is an important lesson here I don't want to miss. That is, we are here to act in our own best interests, we are really the only ones who can. It is our job here on earth to take care of ourselves and when we learn to do that in a healthy, balanced way: we learn to trust ourselves, we feel safe interacting with others even when we have conflicting interests and we can then often be very generous and caring of others because we don't need to over-protect ourselves.

Standing up for ourselves is something we can and must re-learn and is a skill covered in the upcoming Assertiveness & Self Esteem class. If you've already taken the class and enjoyed it, please pass this on to a friend you think might benefit.

Newsletter Archives:
March 2009 - Are You Afraid?/Book Review: Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers
April 2009 - Are You At the Center of Your Life?/Whatever the Problem, Spirit is the Answer
May 2009 - I Love and Accept Myself Exactly As I Am/The Most Overlooked Resource




Check the articles I've had published on ezinearticles.com.

I've heard it said that we can learn our life lessons through either pain or joy. I've also heard that the only way out is through. In other words, we have to go through the pain to get out of pain. These seem like conflicting messages to me.

In my experience and what I've observed with my clients is that most of us go to great lengths to avoid pain. It's a natural human instinct, if the fire burns we pull our hand away. Yet, to work through the issues and obstacles keeping us from manifesting our dreams, we have to face those stuck places within us. When I am procrastinating, when there is something I can't seem to bring myself to do, it most often means there is some unresolved pain, fear or grief lurking beneath the surface.

When I go willingly into the fire, opening myself to the experience of feeling what is in me to feel, and trust that Spirit is protecting and guiding me, I often come out relatively quickly, not only unscathed, but freer and lighter for having released the pent up emotions. Sometimes we have to experience short-term pain to achieve long-term gain.

The experience of joy, for me is often available at a new level then because I am free to abandon myself to it without the drag of pent up painful emotions. So ultimately, choosing joy involves a commitment to be present with myself with whatever I need to feel in the moment.

Over time, I notice the moments of joy come more quickly and easily and far out number the moments of pain. Today, I choose joy!