Announcing: Learning to Deal with a Narcissist Workshops Dealing with the Effects of Narcissism-Tuesday, August 10, Boundaries-Tuesday, August 24, and Interacting with a Narcissist-Tuesday, September 7, 2010 6:00-9:00 PM. Location: LifeCompass Training Center, 454 Kenneth Street, Campbell. Fee: $25/each

Learn to have a healthy relationship with yourself and others, clear your past and learn to express yourself. Relationship Skills for Individuals. Six Wednesdays, July 7 - August 18, 6:00-8:30pm. Fee: $95 Kaiser members, $135 non-Kaiser members. To register: call 408-972-3340.

Learn to reprogram your inner critic... Using Affirmations to Raise Self-Esteem Thursday, July 8, 2010, 6:00 PM - 8:30 PM. Kaiser Permanente, San Jose. Call 408-972-3370.

Powerful Affirmations and Prayers - Audio Program
Positive Affirmations & Prayers to Lift Your Spirits Audio Program.

Also available as an MP3 Download from Amazon

Affirmation: I am loving, I am lovable, I am loved.

Quote: "Keep your heart open for as long as you can, as wide as you can, for others and especially for yourself." Morrie Schwartz

Aside from being popular song lyrics, these words are also a quote from Mitch Albom's book, Tuesdays with Morrie. I remember sitting on the porch of my sister's house when I first read it, crying, as I was contemplating the divorce I was about to go through. Those words very simply and completely stated what I truly, deeply wanted in life, love and my relationship but had somehow failed to achieve AGAIN.

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find someone who didn't agree that they have a true desire to love and be loved and yet there are so many people attempting and failing to connect to another person. What is it that we're doing wrong? And what is the magic ingredient for success?

Those of course, are very big questions and way beyond the scope of this newsletter, however I will say that ultimately I believe we must start by having a successful relationship with ourselves. To do that we must begin by raising our own consciousness and self-awareness.

Throughout my lifetime of unhealthy relationships there was one denominator that was always in common, me. The me that was a part of those relationships was doing everything I could to avoid looking at me, my own behavior, my fears and failings and especially the part I contributed to the failure of those connections. In fact, I would have done just about anything to keep my finger pointed outward at the poor behavior, the unconsciousness and the wounds of others. In addition, I judged myself as harshly if not more so than those others I was attempting to connect with.

Since then, I have undertaken the challenging process of turning my eyeballs around and looking at myself. This is by no means an easy task and often painful. I have begun making conscious decisions how to respond to the experiences and the people in my life and I have actively worked at forgiving and accepting myself as the perfectly imperfect human being that I am. I have found this to be a vast improvement for my peace of mind, my sanity and my serenity when it comes to my interactions with all others.

Today, I am very humble and extremely grateful to say that I do love and am loved by others and it all started by loving myself.

Upcoming classes that support this type of self-work are: Relationship Skills for Individuals and Using Affirmations to Raise Self-Esteem. Also, check out the Dealing with the Effects of Narcissism-Tuesday, August 10, Boundaries-Tuesday, August 24, and Interacting with a Narcissist-Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I also work with individuals one-on-one to help them raise consciousness and self-awareness to be make conscious decisions in relationships. For more information, see my website www.theevolvingself.com. Or contact me to set up a complimentary 30 minute session to explore what Spiritual Counseling and Coaching can do for you.

Newsletter Archives:
May 2010 - I Yam What I Yam/Living Your Life On Purpose
April 2010 - Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings/What if You Chose Your Parents?
March 2010 - When Life Kicks You in the Butt/Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries

I keep talking about narcissism because it has had such a significant impact on my life. Having spent the time studying and learning about it, at this point I'm able to see multiple relationships in my life that were based in these behaviors and the affect it had on me was devastating. Some of the long-term effects include:
-Humliation
-Drepression
-Low self-esteem
-Guilt
-Emotional exhaustion
-Self-doubt
-and much more

These characteristics including: always needing to be right, inability to receive criticism, feeling entitled to rewards without having earned them, using manipulation and passive aggressiveness to get what they want and being singularly focused on their own needs are increasing in people in our society at the same rate as obesity. It is extremely challenging to be around a person with these characteristics without experiencing some or all of the effects listed above.

If you suspect that someone you are in relationship with has these tendencies, whether that is at work, home or friendship, consider the upcoming Narcissism workshops to learn valuable skills that can improve your life and your peace of mind.

Dealing with the Effects of Narcissism-Tuesday, August 10, Boundaries-Tuesday, August 24, and Interacting with a Narcissist-Tuesday, September 7, 2010