Assertiveness Training Kaiser Santa Teresa, Tuesdays October 14 - November 18, 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM, Kaiser Members: $80, Non-members: $140. Call 408-972-3340 for more information.

Conflict Resolution: Kaiser Santa Clara, two Saturdays, November 1 and 8, 10:00 AM - 2:30 PM. You will learn the following: listening skills, asking curious questions, making statements, negotiating and the basic elements of conflict. Fee: $55 Kaiser Members, $110 non-Kaiser members. Call 366-4284 for more information and to register.

Affirmation: I choose to love myself more than I love the approval of others.

Quote: "No one can steal your humanity without your permission." Eleanor Roosevelt

For many people, just the thought of speaking our truth brings up dread and fear anticipating a negative reaction from the other person. Well, recently, I was attending a workshop for the purpose of taking my self expression to a new level and I had a truly amazing experience. We had been asked to prepare a monologue to perform for the group, it could be from a play, a poem, a song or something we wrote ourselves. I'd been so busy that I decided to take the easy road and do something I already knew.

However, as I was sitting there watching the other members of the group perform their pieces, an oh, so uncomfortable but familiar feeling arose. I thought, uh oh, and quickly started writing down the words to a song that I felt I had to sing. I wasn't remembering the words very well...and then my name was called, it was my turn to perform.

On the stage, I was aware that I wasn't sure of the words, that I could make a complete idiot of myself and that I had to do it anyway. So I sang. I sang without regard for the words, or the melody, or how it sounded, I just put all my energy, all my power and all my conviction into the message I was trying to convey. As I finished, the whole group jumped to their feet in a standing ovation.

This was a powerful lesson in reminding me that my time and energy is best served not on focusing on how a person will receive or respond (react) to my words, but on getting myself aligned with who I am, connecting with my passion and conviction, and being clear about my message. When I do that, I command respect.

Continuing "Tips for Making Changes".
Tip #6: Buddy Up: Hook up with a friend to work together toward your goals. This can help keep you on track as you support each other and keep each other accountable.

Newsletter Archives:
July 2008 - Self-Sabotage and Procrastination/Book Review: Why Good People Do Bad Things by Debbie Ford
August 2008 - We Are of Two Minds/Book Review: My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor
September 2008 - I Don't Know What to Say/Book Review: Crucial Conversations by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler

Subtitle: How to Quit Being an Extra in Other People's Movies and Become the Star of Your Own

So many people I encounter have changed and modified themselves in an attempt to make themselves acceptable and lovable to the people around them including myself. It is perhaps, why I have worked so hard in my life to overcome the conditioning and the core beliefs that support that practice and perhaps why I feel called to do the work that I do. Unfortunately, this appears to be a pretty common experience in our society. Alan Cohen shares, "At one of my workshops an older gentleman raised his hand and stood up to speak, 'I tried being myself once," he quipped. But it didn't work--I realized I didn't have enough experience."

The ultimate price we pay when give up who we are to be accepted by others is our self-esteem, our very connection to ourselves. We suffer physically, emotionally and psychologically, in all ways our lives are effected when we aren't being our "selves".

Alan Cohen goes on to say, "We can hide who we are, but we cannot destroy it; ultimately we must discover and live from our inner truth."

This whole book is about learning to live from our inner truth. I highly recommend it.