Mindfulness & Women's Health
This is a new class emphasizing mind-body health for women in a social support format. Personal development practices such as mindfulness and journaling will be emphasized along with reading from Christiane Northrup's book, Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and group discussion. This class is being piloted at Kaiser San Jose starting Tuesdays, October 12 - December 6 from 5:00-6:30PM. Please contact me for more information or call Kaiser at 408-972-3340 to register.

Assertiveness & Self-Esteem
Learn to express yourself and set healthy boundaries. Six Tuesdays, October 12 - November 16, 6:30-9:00 PM. Kaiser San Jose. Call 408-972-3340 to register.

Powerful Affirmations and Prayers - Audio Program
Positive Affirmations & Prayers to Lift Your Spirits Audio Program.

Also available as an MP3 Download from Amazon

Affirmation: I am content being a perfectly imperfect normal human being.

Quote: "The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well." Joe Ancis

This subject often comes up in my classes, what is normal? I acknowledge the fact that I work in Healthcare and therefore, I encounter people who have been referred to classes by their physician or who are seeking to improve some aspect of their lives that isn't working. Does that mean that they are the 'sick' ones and all the rest of us are out there functioning 'normally'?

In his book, Healing the Shame that Binds You, John Bradshaw claims that 95%, if not all families are dysfunctional. That tells me that dysfunctional is normal. Whew, what a relief!

One of the main dysfunctions I observe that contributes to the illusion of an 'ideal' normal is that the human ego works to cover up its neurosis. In other words, people strive to appear normal on the outside, or at least what they perceive as normal. We work to appear like we have it all together, like we're happy, thriving and content, when behind closed doors, many people are living quiet, or not so quiet, lives of desperation.

Issues with depression, anxiety, stress, anger, blame, shame and self-loathing are often the mood states that drive people to addiction. A definition of addiction is an attempt to escape an intolerable reality. People can be addicted to food, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, shopping, spending, attaining things, relationships, TV, video games, control, complaining, sex, etc., etc. People can even be addicted to misery and frankly, I've never met anyone who wasn't addicted to something including myself.

One of the first steps to heal from the typical dysfunctional normal life is to simply accept yourself. Notice what you do to cope with what you perceive to be missing and simply accept yourself as normally dysfunctional.

I work with individuals one-on-one to help them develop healthy communication habits, self-love, and to uncover the unconscious beliefs that are preventing them from living a life they love and enjoy. For more information, see my website www.theevolvingself.com. Or contact me to set up a complimentary 30 minute session to explore what Spiritual Counseling and Coaching can do for you.

Newsletter Archives:
August 2011 - The Ego and Relationships/Not Just for Ladies Only
July 2011 - I Cain't Say No/Control
June 2011 -Acceptance/Blame

An aspect of narcissism I haven't discussed before is the effect it has on the family. Just like other family affective diseases such as alcoholism, there is a very profound effect on children raised in this system. Often referred to as the "ism's". These are the behaviors and attitudes that are carried down from generation to generation. A negative family legacy, so to speak.

In particular, the adult child of a narcissist typically experiences difficulty in establishing and maintaining intimate relationships. Because they felt so invaded and smothered by the needs of the parent, they both desire and fear closeness with others. In addition, while many people need to grieve their childhood experiences, the severity of the grief for these adult children is quite significant and requires support and guidance.

I encourage you to check out the attached article, Grief is Not a Mental Illness by Karyl McBride, Ph.D. She discusses some very interesting aspects of growing up in a narcissistic family. I'd love to hear your comments about the article.

I work individually with people who are attempting to grieve the past and move on to a more peaceful present and to deal with the effects of being raised in a narcissistic family. Please contact me to set up a complimentary 30 minute session to see if Spiritual Counseling and Coaching is right for you or go to my website: www.TheEvolvingSelf.com