http://www.theevolvingself.com
http://www.theevolvingself.com
presentsThe Evolving Self
When growth is the only option...

The Evolving Self is an e-newsletter that reflects the belief that growth is a choice that can bring an ever deepening and expanding awareness of who we are and what we are here for. The reader can expect affirmations, quotes, book reviews, insightful commentary and tips that support the growth of the individual.

Affirmation: I accept myself exactly the way I am.

Quote:  “Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” -C.G. Jung

Newsletter archives:

August 2017 - Self Love AGAIN/Detox

July 2017 - Fear and Anxiety/Creating Safety

June 2017 - Emotional Sobriety

 

Certified Aromatherapist

As a Certified Aromatherapist, I am qualified to make custom blends to address various health concerns and skin issues. Many aromatherapy blends also have a quality of emotional support as well. If you are interested in custom blends and/or coaching along with aromatherapy solutions, please email me at jaqui@lifecompass.org.

B'Itch Balm

This product was formulated to address itchy skin conditions such as bug bites, rashes and allergic reactions. It is in a base of extremely moisturizing body butters. Check it out in my Etsy Store at B'Itch Balm.

I've been getting wonderful feedback about this product. "I put it on a new mosquito bite and never felt it itch again." I used it myself on an area that was red, itchy and raised from an allergic reaction. It was better within a couple of days.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Extroverts vs Introverts

I had a significant and visible reaction to something I read recently. The comment was simply stating that, "Extroverts typically deal with stress by viewing it as a challenge, taking a problem solving attitude." In the next sentence, it said that "taking a passive approach can lead to bitterness, depression and loneliness..." I took this to be a compare and contrast jab at introverts.

It has been my observation that many extroverted people seem to judge introverted people as if there is something wrong with them because they prefer solitude. Perhaps it comes simply from lack of understanding which may be at the root of the differences between the two.

In my life, I have on more than one occasion been on the receiving end of comments that were judgmental and critical about my tendency and need to spend a great deal of time alone. Yes, I am a confirmed introvert. I live a particular lifestyle that I have chosen that is dominated by a significant amount of alone time. I'd like to take a moment to define the difference between extroversion and introversion and of course, there are different definitions.

According to Myers-Briggs (based on a Jungian view,) on the scale measuring extroversion vs introversion, they refer to these behaviors as the way people re-energize. Extroverts orient their energy to the outer world, while introverts orient their energy to the inner world. That definition is very different than the possibly more common view that extroverts want to be around people all the time and introverts want to be alone. 

One of Jung's and Isabel Myers' great contributions to the field of psychology is their observations that introversion and extroversion are both healthy variations in personality style. Variations on a scale with extroversion on one end and introversion on the other, is about how much stimulation we require and can absorb from our environment.

It occurs to me that because extroverted people are typically more outgoing, more vocal and visible that this is the standard that has been set for "normal" behavior. I have forever been exploring what determines normalcy as it comes up in discussions all the time. In reality, statistics show that Introversion is slightly more pronounced in the general population introverts 50.7%, extroverts 49.3% (based on Myers-Briggs first random sample in 1998.)

What these statistics don't capture, however is that there are different types of introverts.

Continue reading below...


4 Types of Introverts

 

This is an exerpt from an article published in New York magazine's Science of Us blog published July 1, 2015.

The research of Wellesley psychologist Jonathan Cheek and his graduate students Jennifer Grimes and Courtney Brown quizzed 500 adults about their personalities. The findings, they argue, reveal that there isn't one kind of introversion, there are four flavors. They gave these types the handy mnemonic STAR for social, thinking, anxious and restrained. An individual can be strongly  one or a mixture of several. Here's a basic rundown of each:

Social

This type of introvert isn't shy in the traditional sense. Social events don't give these folks anxiety. It's just that they prefer to socialize in small groups rather than large ones and sometimes to opt for not socializing at all. This choice isn't about fear, but is simply a clear personal preference for the intimate and quiet.

Thinking

Sometimes an introvert isn't driven by their preferences around other people at all--they're neither shy nor particularly averse to groups. These folks simply come across as reserved and unsocial sometimes because they're often lost in their own thoughts. If this is you, "you're capable of getting lost in an internal fantasy world, but it's not in a neurotic way, it's in an imaginative and creative way," Cheek explained to Science of Us.

Anxious

This type of introvert conforms to common stereotypes of the quiet person--they're withdrawn and quiet because other people make them nervous. "Unlike social introverts, anxious introverts may seek out solitude because they feel awkward and painfully self-conscious around other people, because they're not very confident in their own social skills," Science of Us explains.

Restrained

Rather than being anxious, imaginative, or most at home in small groups, this final kind of introvert is simply slow moving. They take a while to get going and need to be deliberate in their actions--they always think before they speak. In an extroverted world, this appears much the same as the other types of introversion, though it's root causes are quite different.

Based on these four types, it is perhaps, a little easier to understand why there is so much confusion about introversion, there is significant variance between them. If I could come up with an appropriate conclusion to this discussion, it would simply be that understanding ourselves is something worth striving for and once we've gained awareness and understanding, to make conscious choices to do and behave in such a way that serves us. The final goal, as always is to love and accept ourselves with all of our quirkiness.

I support people in raising their awareness of their own behavior, needs and desires and their ability to love themselves. Please click here:  jaqui@lifecompass.org to contact me to schedule coaching or counseling services.

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Jaqui Duvall works as a coach, mentor, trainer, facilitator and public speaker developing and delivering workshops, leading mentoring groups and working with individuals to help them identify and express their inner spirit and live a life of consciousness and intention.
jaqui@lifecompass.org •  San Jose