presentsThe Evolving Self
When growth is the only option...

The Evolving Self is an e-newsletter that reflects the belief that growth is a choice that can bring an ever deepening and expanding awareness of who we are and what we are here for. The reader can expect affirmations, quotes, book reviews, insightful commentary and tips that support the growth of the individual.

Affirmation: I choose to love myself the way I always wanted to be loved.

Quote: "When people love themselves, life just works." -Louise Hay

Newsletter archives:

August 2019 - Rising Anxiety/Calming

July 2019 - Belonging/Empathy & Presence

June 2019 - Taking Things Personally/Presence



Certified Aromatherapist

I have recently completed yet more training and am now a Clinical Aromatherapist, which means I am qualified to work in a healhcare setting as an Aromatherapist and of course, to make custom blends to address various health concerns and skin issues. Many aromatherapy blends also have a quality of emotional support.

If you are interested in custom blends to support your physical and/or emotional health and/or coaching along with aromatherapy solutions, please email me at

Contact me to get your own custom blend!

Loving Yourself

"When you constantly criticize your children they never stop loving you, they stop loving themselves." -brightside.

As I observe the world and the people in it, I am constantly struck by behavior that I believe is a manifestation of people who don't love themselves. Hurting other people, whether that is physically, emotionally or financially is most often the act of people who have been hurt themselves. Hurt people, hurt people. When people are deeply hurt by people that are supposed to love them, they sometimes cut themselves off from their tender, vulnerable parts, so that they don't feel anything when they act against other people. It's not fair or just or right, but it is what it is. Perhaps part of the human dilemma. I have believed for many years that the world would be a completely different place if people loved themselves.

For my own journey, I have put much effort toward the pursuit of loving myself doing daily affirmations, journaling, workshops, therapy, reading books and practicing inner child work. Even in the midst of all this work, the whole concept of loving self while important and valuable was still a bit elusive in practicality. How do I know this? My relationships. While I have some wonderful, healthy, loving relationships; when you love yourself you don't stay in relationship with people who use and abuse you.

One thing I know for sure, when I love myself, I am a nicer person. I'm more peaceful. While I don't react as much to the bad behavior of others whether that is people I know or not, I make better choices in who I hang out with,  and I choose to be around people who are kind and caring.

Recently I found a process that I believe has directly affected my level of self love. It involves connecting with your inner child in a very direct way. It comes from the work of Susan Anderson who wrote, "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing."

Continue reading below...

Inner Child

If you were to encounter a child who was upset, sad, looked disheveled and uncared for, what would you do? Would you ignore or neglect the child? Would you judge or criticize the child? My guess is that most people would approach the child gently and ask if they could help. They would try to give the child what it needs.

Just reading those words, does a picture come to mind? What if the child in that picture was you? A part of you that has been present inside of you your whole life, but you didn't realize it was there or know how to listen to it.

Here is a process to connect with your inner child: Find a picture of yourself at the age of 4 or 5 years old. Take a picture of it with your phone so you can carry it around with you always. Pull it out a couple times per day and really look at the child in the picture. Imagine that child before you and simply love the child. Look lovingly, adoringly, tenderly at the child. Hug your phone while imaging you are hugging your child.

Ask the child how it is feeling and really listen to what it has to say. Write a dialog between you the adult and you the child. Ask it questions and allow it to answer. Ask what it needs and respond like you would to a child in need, lovingly, tenderly.

Within days of starting this process, I noticed a difference in how I behave and what and who I attract into my life. Well worth the time and effort.

If you would like to learn more about strategies that can help with calming, email me to learn more about Life Coaching.

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Jaqui Duvall works as a coach, mentor, trainer, facilitator and public speaker developing and delivering workshops, leading mentoring groups and working with individuals to help them identify and express their inner spirit and live a life of consciousness and intention. •  San Jose