September 2009

A Note From The Editors:

Welcome to all our subscribers!

Here, you will find quick and easy projects for every holiday. We publish new activities every month.

If this is your first time to our site, have fun! Get to know us.
www.TogetherParenting.com

And, don't forget to visit our Article Archive, which is full of our favorite projects.
click here

Check out our calendar or try our child friendly recipes and activities in the weeks to come. We'll show you how to turn an afternoon of play into meaningful and lasting traditions--enriching the time you spend with your children.

And remember, it only takes a minute to create memories that last a lifetime.

Enjoy!
Rondi and Janell

Rondi Hillstrom Davis and Janell Sewall Oakes
Editors of the Together newsletter
Co-authors of the award winning book,
Together: Creating Family Traditions
www.TogetherParenting.com

In This Issue You Will Find:

1. Feature: Practice Makes Perfect?
2. Project: Looking Back
3. Recipe: Dutch Babies
4. Calendar of Events

"There are those much more rare people who never lose their curiosity, their almost childlike wonder at the world; those people who continue to learn and to grow intellectually until the day they die. And these usually are the people who make contributions, who leave some part of the world a little better off than it was before they entered it."
William H. Sheldon

Feature: Practice Makes Perfect?

Educating the Next Generation of Leaders.
by Christine Martinello


During a "Motivating Kids to Motivate Themselves" seminar, a high school man, (or should I say boy-he looked awfully young) said, "We're the perfect generation of kids. We want to do everything just right." "And we have the trophies and awards to show for it," a young woman chimed in.

Hhhmm . . . perfect. These kids may have the outward appearances of success - money, great hair and expensive clothes but appearances can be deceiving. Day to day, these kids have jam-packed schedules including every lesson imaginable, heavy school loads, structured daycare, and adult led sports. What they haven't had is the gift of time. Time to be kids - silly kids, playful kids who can fall out of trees and learn from their falls.

These young adults are entering the work world and it's not easy for them to adjust to the "real world". The Today Show highlighted "We have overly dependent college kids and 20 something's who are having a hard time finding their independence." The longest umbilical cord is now the cell phone.

During my "Dealing with Conflict" or "Establishing Positive Discipline" workshops I see adults wrestle with overcoming years of shared helplessness. It's not easy - but incredibly rewarding when they do ‘get it'. I'm happy to do these seminars but the time to learn and practice decision-making skills is during childhood.

What is happening?

In our zeal to have high achievers, we are seeing childhood burnout, obesity, and depression at younger ages. What we do with our kids in their early years teaches them to solve problems or to be overly dependent. We can teach them how to be leaders who can make good choices.

A few days ago, at our neighborhood picnic, there was a rare occurrence. Eighteen boys ranging from ages 5-15 played a game of 'pick-up' football. You know, the type of event that quickly turns into a "survival of the fittest activity". Early in the game a 6-year-old boy got hurt and was lying on the grass crying. The other boys looked at the injured boy and huddled toward the imaginary sidelines. They looked at each other and waited (a long time) for an adult to intercede. Mom ran on the grass and helped her son "shake it off". The group of boys clapped as the little boy was taken off the "field".

The kids acted as a team but not one showed individual leadership. They:
1. Stepped away from the problem.
2. Followed the organized play rules of "If someone is injured, sit, and wait for an adult to do something." Not one boy out of 18 stepped forward.
3. Supported the injured boy by clapping & respecting his time & space.

A lingering question: Why did the boys ignore the injured child instead of helping him?

Kids are so used to adults making and enforcing the rules that they have a hard time stepping up and leading themselves. We can teach them to do better - here's how.

In order to raise a balanced leader here are the top 10 tips:
1. Teach kids how to make good choices and stand up for what is right.
2. Give your child individual responsibility at home for their room, finances, getting papers signed, etc.
3. Realize your role is to be a mentor and facilitator so your child can solve their own problems.
4. Don't live your identity through your kids. Have your own hobbies and interests so you will "model" leading life in a balanced way.
5. Encourage kids to organize their own events or play dates. Tell them to "Go play!"
6. Give specific praise when kids lead. "Thanks for taking the lead on emptying the garbage." Ask for help while doing chores and highlight the leader who actually offers to help.
7. Don't bail them out if they forget their homework, etc. Let the natural consequences kick in.
8. Let them fail - and learn from their mistakes. Let them make choices between two options for younger kids and more options for older kids. Discuss pros and cons of possible choices and what the impact will be.
9. Listen and ask questions instead of telling others what to do.
10. Ask: "What are YOU going to do about that?"

You have a great opportunity to practice these important leadership skills. During this time you will teach positive values and ethical practices to your child. Wouldn't it be amazing if they actually learned to think before they act?

Here's to building balanced leaders! You are setting a foundation that will last for generations.

Copyright 2007
Christine is recognized as a leading authority in leadership, life balancing, and Momager topics. She is founder of the Momager Movement, Camp Her Way, a facilitator of ‘edutainment' programs, a sought-after speaker, and best-selling author.

Project: Looking Back

For the last 18 years, on the first day of school, before the sun comes up, we have taken a picture on our front porch. Lunches and back packs in hand, I've watch my two girls grow from being scared little kindergarteners to beautiful, mature adults. The ritual ended as I took the last picture with the car packed, ready for college. Now Alice is studying abroad and Jenny has landed her first job.

I recently compiled a scrapbook page of all of all of our "first day of school" pictures. Seeing all of the photographs lined up brought back a lot of memories and a lot of the stories behind them being too scared to get out of the car, the drama of what to wear, front teeth missing, clarinet lessons, having car privileges. Here are some of my favorites.

If you're anything like me, you have hundreds of pictures stashed away in a drawer, some saved in digital files, most have not been put into albums. Here, I have the entire history of our family and our heritage tucked neatly away in the closet. It's a little overwhelming. But, it's been fun going through them all. I've vowed to catch up. And, I want to annotate them. The true reward has been seeing family and friends thumbing through the pages and reminiscing. It's a great conversation starter.

How do you organize your photos? In chronological order? By holidays or events? Are they in photo albums, scrapbooks, on the computer, or a shoebox in the closet? Do you share them online? There are so many new options, even if you aren't the crafty type. Email me and let me know what you've done with your family photos.

Recipe: Dutch Babies

This Saturday morning, take a few minutes to whip up this quick breakfast. It only takes 3 minutes to make and 20 minutes to cook. And, it's oh so impressive!

Ingredients
1/4 cup butter (half stick)
3/4 milk
3/4 flour
Powdered sugar for garnish
A squeeze of 1/2 a lemon

Directions

1. Use a 2-3 quart pan with a heatproof handle that can be placed in the oven. A pan with sloping sides works best, but you can also use a baking dish, iron skillet, or roasting pan. Tip: To determine its size, use a measuring cup to fill the pan with water. 4 cups equal 1 quart. Once you know the total volume, pour the water out and dry the pan.

2. Preheat the oven to 425°. Place the butter in the pan and let it melt.

3. While the butter melts, mix the batter quickly. Put the eggs in a blender and whirl on high speed for one minute. Add the milk, and then slowly add the flour and continue to blend for about 30 seconds.

4. Remove the pan with the melted butter from the oven. (Adult supervision is required.) Pour in the batter.

5. Bake approximately 20-25 minutes, until the pancake is puffy and slightly browned on the top.

6. Be sure to show off your creation as you remove it from the oven. Then, squeeze the lemon over the top and dust with powdered sugar. The pancake will deflate. Cut into 6-8 slices and serve with sauteed candied apples.

Sauteed Candied Apples
1. Core and thinly slice 2 apples, leaving the skins on.

2. Sautee over medium heat in 2 tablespoons of butter.

3. When the apples begin to soften, (about 4 minutes), sprinkle them with cinnamon and sugar.

4. Continue cooking for about 1 minute, until the sugar melts.
Serve warm over pancakes, waffles, or ice cream.