Fame, Pedestals, and Power

By Scott Kalechstein

Hello, and welcome to my divinely inspired article. You are blessed to have found these words. I am a famous writer, a fully self-realized being and an expert on deep subjects that somehow have eluded you, you poor thing. I know secrets about life and living it fully, secrets that you would do well to learn. I enjoy perfect health, changeless love, and oceans of prosperity.

You are a reader, a seeker, one who is, let's face it, less evolved than I. You have insecurities about yourself, and it is my good pleasure to expose them, exploit them, and sell you my products. Generally speaking, I have myself together and I write to help you get a life.

Yet there is hope for you, dear reader! If you purchase my amazing new book, you will feel empowered, achieve total success, and never have hard times again. If you take my workshops and tithe to me regularly, you, too, might become all together. One day you and I might do lunch, and we can chat incessantly about our perfect lives. My advice? Read this article as the gospel. Obey it, do not question it, and you will be well on your way to making reservations for our lunch!

But enough about you. Let's get back to me!

I am a superior human, an authority on spiritual matters, a pillar of strength without weakness. I don't have bad moods or disappointments or lose my temper. Even my stool smells great.

Yes, you have just been in the passenger seat of my ego trip. And if I were to deny that a part of my psyche has been tempted to take such a ride, then I'd be in danger of being driven unconsciously to act it out. When I acknowledge my shadow it is much less likely to cast its command over me. I want to be honest with myself about my egotistical tendencies, and the wounds behind them, so I can keep them in check.

There was a time when I didn't have this awareness, and I did act it out. I had relationships with women who looked up to me with adoring stars in their eyes. They handed me their power and I took it. Wondering why I kept attracting this ‘teacher-student' dynamic, I eventually had to look within and tell the truth to myself about my own insecurities. I was wanting to be propped up like that because my self-image was secretly very low. It was many years before I was willing to attract (and be attracted to!) a woman who was in her own power, and didn't have me on a pedestal.

Power trips, whether acted upon or not, give me temporary relief from the lack of authentic self-love. Power trips mask my sense of powerlessness.

Many years ago there was a spiritual teacher in my life, a special man with special powers. He lived in Sedona, a special place, and I had the special priviledge of staying with him and his family numerous times over a five year period. I had hopes that by just hanging out with him, whatever specialness I thought he had that I didn't would rub off on me. I often felt extra-insecure in his presence, comparing myself (unfavorably) to him. Once he took me hiking, and as we were close to the top of a mountain, my fear of heights surfaced very strongly. I stopped moving and just froze. He encouraged me to keep climbing, to feel the fear and move forward anyway. I backed down from the challenge, going for safety and survival over his invitation and guidance. I remember silently shaming myself for choosing security over the adventure of overcoming a fear. I imagined that he was judging me for staying in my comfort zone and I felt bad about disappointing my special teacher. I remember hoping that someday I would be as spiritually evolved as he was.

Five years after that experience I ran into him again, this time in San Diego. He had suffered some kind of breakdown. His wife had left him and took their son with her. He told me he had been in a mental institution for a while. Lethargic from medication, he confided in me that he was stooped in self-hatred and severe loneliness. I felt shocked. This was my teacher, one whom I looked up to! That evening I took him with me to a healing group, where he was saturated in love and support, and I felt grateful that I had a chance to give something back to one from whom I had received so much. But I also experienced the encounter as life's sober wake-up call, cautioning me about separating myself from others by putting them on pedestals.

I wonder how prevalent this kind of thing is. Maybe it exists in epidemic proportions. Maybe most of the self-help gurus and experts that speak at conferences and fill the best-seller lists are in the same boat with you and me. Maybe every human being you have ever excessively admired has been just as human, imperfect and vulnerable as the rest of us.

A number of years ago a popular guru was caught with his yoga pants down, and it came out that he had been sleeping with several disciples. Thousands of his followers were heart-broken and disillusioned. People were forced to see the inconsistencies in the one whom they had thought had no weaknesses. Although many simply turned to someone else to look up to, some of them used the experience for empowerment and gave up idolatry altogether.

Seekers evolve into finders when life strips away our security blankets, such as the illusion of a Perfect Human Being in whom we can blindly and wholeheartedly put our trust. The stripping away may first invoke a sense of despair, but a descent into darkness can be just the tunnel we need to lead us away from habitually giving our power to others. Facing despair can leave us face to Face with the God within, thus ending the game of seeking forever.

This culture promotes having our heroes outside of ourselves, which is a sure way of keeping our own golden natures hidden from sight. Fame glitters, and it certainly catches many eyes in this culture, but it is not gold. Putting a fellow human on a pedestal is an effective way to hide your personal power and magnificence from yourself. Pretending to be small is just as much an ego trip as inflating yourself above others.

The only way I will ever be comfortable up on a pedestal is if there is room for you and my mother and the entire human race. There we will worship and praise and learn from each other equally, with everyone acknowledged as heroes and stars, teachers and students. This may cause a much needed wave of gurus turning in their robes, (as well as send the sales of People and Entertainment Magazines plummeting), but the true gurus will retire in celebration, knowing that their purpose, which was to render themselves useless, has been served.

I am not the giant of my fantasies, nor the dwarf of my fears. Somewhere in between these extremes is my humanity, and in my acceptance of that there is enough peace and happiness to last for a lifetime.



Scott Kalechstein is a regular sort of fellow aspiring to live authentically. In addition, he serves as a a singer, songwriter, speaker, humorist, recording artist, minister, and workshop leader. He thought about not mentioning any of those things and trying to come across more humble, but decided against it. You can visit him in cyberspace at www.scottsongs.com His music recordings are full of joyous, life-affirming songs for adults and children. To contact Scott e-mail him at scott@scottsongs.com

To enjoy more of Scott's writings, just Google Scott Kalechstein, and start browsing his articles. You can also visit Awareness Magazine at:
http://www.awarenessmag.com/library.html/library.html
You will find Scott's column Living The Soulful Life in the Departments section of any of their back issues.

SCOTT'S SCHEDULE

FAIRFAX, MARIN COUNTY, CA

Each and Every Wednesday Night- My partner Venus and I lead a weekly drop-in support group for both singles and couples called All About Relationships. All are welcome. Go to http://www.innerwings.net/workshops.html for more info.

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

ENCINITAS, CA

MARCH 17- I will be giving a house concert at 307 Trailview in the Village Park section of Encinitas. Email scott@scottsongs.com or call 415 721 2954 for reservations and information.

ESCONDIDO, CA

March 19- I will be the guest speaker and soloist at the Escondido Creative Center for Spiritual Living. Visit www.creativecenterspiritualliving.org/ or call 760) 741-0853 for more info.

WALNUT CREEK, CA

March 26- I will be the featured guest soloist at the Unity Center of Walnut Creek. Go to www.unitycenter.net/ or call (925) 937-2191 for info.

SACRAMENTO, CA

April 2- I will be the guest speaker and soloist at the Religious Science Creative Living Center. Following the service I will be offering Say Yes To Your Dreams, a workshop on finding your passion, living your purpose, and discovering ways to do what you love and get paid lucratively for it. Call (916) 966 9960 for details.

MARIN COUNTY, CA

April 8- My first concert ever in Marin County! It will be at the Treehouse in Novato. Call 415 721 2954 for more info or email scott@scottsongs.com


SEDONA, ARIZONA

April 14- A house concert in Sedona. Call Su at 928 301-6644 for details.

RIMROCK, ARIZONA

April 15- A house concert just outside of Sedona in Rimrock. Call Su at 928 301-6644 for details.

PHOENIX, ARIZONA

April 16- I will be offering an evening concert, which will come after a potluck dinner at the Arizona Enlightenment Center. Call 623-882-9454 for more info or visit www.azenlightenmentcenter.org.

April 18- I will be offering music at A Course In Miracles meeting, open to the public, love offering. Call (480) 946-9481 for details.

April 19- I will be the featured musical performer at the New Visions Spiritual Growth Center. Click on http://www.newvisionaz.org/ or call (480) 391-1126 for more info.

PATAGONIA, ARIZONA

April 20- I will be giving a concert at the Tree Of Life Rejuvenation Center. Call (520) 394-2520 for more info.

TUCSON, ARIZONA

April 21- I will be giving a concert. Call John Freedom at (520) 297-1995 for details.

April 22- I will be giving a workshop in the morning and a concert in the evening. John Freedom has the scoop and can be reached at (520) 297-1995.

April 23- I will be giving the guest talk and some music as well at the Tucson Science Of Mind Center. Call (520) 319-1042 for details.

LOS ALTOS, CA

April 30- I will be giving the guest talk and music at The Center For Conscious Living. Following the morning I will be offering a workshop called, Say Yes To Your Dreams. Visit www.consciouslivingcenter.com or call 650 917 0505 for details.

SANTA CLARA, CA

May 4, 5, & 6- I will be the conference troubadour, weaving music throughout the experience, at ACEP's 8th Annual International Energy Psychology Conference. Visit http://energypsych.org/conference2006/ for more info.

MARIN, CA

May 7- I will be the featured musical artist at Unity in Marin. Visit www.unityinmarin.com/ for more info.

DOYLESTOWN, PA

May 19- I will be giving a concert in Bucks County. Call Natalie at (215) 579-1836 for details.

May 20- I will be giving a workshop called Where Spirit & Relationships Meet. Call Maria at (215) 489-8898 for the scoop.

MOORESTOWN, NEW JERSEY

May 21- I will be the guest speaker and soloist at the Center For Conscious Living. Following the service, I will be conducting a workshop, the title of to be announced. Call 856-722- 5683 or visit www.newthoughtccl.org/ for details.

ASHFIELD, MA

May 25- A house concert in Western MA. Call (413) 625-8382 for details.

ROWE, MA

May 26-29- Couples Living From The Heart- I provide the music for Joyce and Barry Vissell's annual east coast couples retreat. For three years my partner and I have shared this together and it is a highlight of the year for us. I weave healing songs throughout the weekend as couples come to heal, celebrate and deepen their bond. This retreat takes place at Rowe Camp & Conference Center. Visit them on the web at www.rowecenter.org/ or call (413) 339-4954.

THE BIG APPLE… NYC

June 4- I will be the guest minister and soloist at the Unity Church of Flushing in the borough of Queens. After the service there will be a luncheon that I am providing musical and comic entertainment at. Call (718) 353-5887 for the details.

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For more mischief from a truly warped mind visit http://www.scottsongs.com