Risky Business

By Scott Kalechstein

"Life is a daring adventure or nothing."
– Helen Keller

Negotiating a full and rich life is risky business. It involves a commitment to living on the edge and often walking towards, not away from, what I fear. My joy is not served when I repeatedly retreat from risk taking to drift stagnant in my comfort zone. Moreover, when I am engaged in such a lack of engagement, I often find external causes (excuses) for my discontent. They usually involve pinning the blame on those closest to me.

A few months after moving five hundred miles to Marin my beautiful connection with Venus was beginning to feel suffocating. The juiciness between us had dried up, and so had my sense of self-responsibility. "If only she wouldn't be so into the relationship I would breathe easier," I secretly and not so secretly fantasized. Oh how seductive, to take the focus off myself and project my shadow onto my wonderful partner!

This train of thinking was derailing my ability to see her for who she was and enjoy the gift of her presence. To get back on track, I inquired of my inner conductor, "Could the source of these feelings have nothing to do with Venus? Have I been cutting off my own air supply by hanging out in my comfort zone and avoiding the oxygen of being fully alive?"

I made a list of what I might be doing if I weren't afraid - risks I would be taking, adventures I would be having - and realized I was using the security of a relationship to hide from my insecurity, the fears coming up around making new friends and exploring a vast new playground of possibilities. I was feeling strangled, not because Venus had her hands around my neck, but because I wasn't sticking my neck out! I needed to break free, not from the relationship, but from my paralysis. As soon as I started taking action to create a juicy life in Northern California, the juice returned to my connection with Venus.

I have a hate/love relationship with risks. I hate anticipating them, but I love the expanded aliveness and self-esteem that comes from taking them.

My first major experience of both resisting a risk and really going for it was in high school. On my very first day as a freshman I woke up to a mountainous range of pimples… my first acne breakout! On that dreary day and for two subsequent years I dragged myself to school, kept my head low, and shied away from almost all forms of social contact. Ashamed of my appearance, I took no risks and reached out to no one, especially any one of the opposite sex. My main extracurricular activity was popping zits.

In my junior year the pain of hiding became too great to bear, and something inside me snapped. I moved myself, mountain range and all, out into some self-expression. I joined some clubs, ran for student office, and auditioned for a school play.

I landed the lead role in a comedy about an awkward adolescent with a bad case of acne. When I had a good look at the script I seriously pondered backing out. One of my lines was, "Damn these zits! I'll never get a girl interested in me!" The only thing more terrifying than thinking about doing the play was the idea of not doing it. I imagined everyone in school knowing exactly why I quit. I had to follow through.

My performance was a big hit! At times I felt myself lightening up about my pimply predicament and laughing right along with the audience. When it was over it felt like I had fewer secrets, and suddenly I was a visible and popular person in the school. I was invited to parties, given compliments, and approached by people, even female people!

Within three weeks I noticed something major and miraculous in the mirror. My pimples had almost all disappeared. I had a new complexion! At the time I attributed it to the new acne cream on the market, but in hindsight I think it had more to do with my willingness to leave my comfort zone, expose myself, and bring lightness and levity to my hidden pain and shame. Breaking out of my shell and facing my fears was just what my face needed to stop breaking out.

It's been my experience that the more I escape from internal prisons the clearer and smoother my external world becomes. I love testing this out and collecting evidence that life supports those who say yes to life instead of putting off their dreams or their sense of aliveness for some other moment besides NOW!

I don't mean to imply that when we leap a net suddenly appears in the form of a six-figure income. There is a popular self-help book titled ‘Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow.' Yes, it follows, but not always right behind us. In my case it took seven years from when I first started going for my dreams until when I was able to quit compromising for a living. During that time I constantly doubted my decision to deviate from the road I had been on. "Why have I risked everything? This is so hard! What was I thinking?"

My mind, exclusively schooled in the language of logic, was screaming "ILLOGICAL!" But it pays to learn a second language, and the day I quit college was the start of my education in listening to, and acting on, the voice of my intuitive teacher.

I had two years of undecided undergraduate under my belt and it was time to declare a major. Instead, I declared I was dropping out. Out of the blue I told family and friends that I was leaving the road-much-traveled to follow my inspiration and train as a healer and workshop leader. My parents thought I was lost, and dangerously messing with my future. The road I was taking was completely off the map. And with no role models, I was going to have to pave it as I traveled. I was as frightened as my family. I didn't know if I had leaped into a new life or off the deep end. After all, insanity and spiritual growth can both involve listening to voices!

I worked odd jobs, wrote and performed music, and studied matters that deeply mattered to me. I took loads of personal growth seminars, trainings, and voice lessons. I focused on my own healing process, my spiritual and emotional education, as well as developing my musical and improvisational abilities. During that time I gradually, very gradually, developed an audience and clientele for my gifts. Seven years of baby stepping towards my dream led up to a grand and terrifying precipice. I quit the day job and leaped.

For fifteen years now I've been a full time speaker/singer/workshop leader. My bills have been paid, I've never starved, and I've always had leftovers in the bank. But those first years of taking the road-not-traveled were bumpy indeed. During that time I could have written a book that said, "Do What You Love, The Chaos Will Follow!"

And doing what I love, I have found, offers no immunity from chaos. It still follows, and occasionally overtakes me, especially when I value accomplishing external things over maintaining internal peace and balance.

Like yesterday. I woke up in the morning and prepared to meditate. But the bathroom could not wait, and while I was sitting I casually checked my voice mail. There was a message that I thought would be best to return promptly. While on the phone I started checking emails. A few, I thought, would do no harm to quickly respond to. Then hunger grumbled good morning. While preparing breakfast I turned the phone ringer on and almost instantly it rang. Before I knew it, I was fully immersed in anxious activity. Multi-tasking, I lost sight of my single most important morning task and responsibility: to take quiet time and set a peaceful tone for the day.

We all have days that get away from us. For some people it's even years. Or decades. How much time can whiz by before we wake up one day, take inventory on what we've been doing, and check to see if it matches our core values and truest sense of purpose. Such soul searching pushes us to the edge where our fears and passions converge, where a comfortable choice is usually not the wisest.

After all, how many of us will look back from our deathbeds and wish that we had risked less and pursued fewer dreams?

It's been a dream of mine to vacation on the magical island of Bora Bora with someone I adore. In a few months I'm taking Venus there. I did not make this decision with the rational mind, which can only look at my finances and ask things like: "Is this practical?" "Should you be spending this kind of money right now?" And "Why not wait till you have your life more together?"

"BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW HOW LONG WE'VE GOT!"

I'm willing to have a day get away from me once in a while, but I'm not willing to look back on my life and realize that most of it got away from me. I'm not willing to hide and save face because I'm afraid the world will judge my blemishes. Living fully is risky business. There's too much at stake to play it safe.



"If I had my life to live over, I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I'm one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if could do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else… Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. If I had my life to live over, I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies."

-Nadine Stair (age 85 at the time she wrote it)


Scott Kalechstein is a modern day troubadour and inspirational speaker. He makes his home in Marin County, CA and travels through the United States, Canada and Europe giving concerts, talks and workshops, as well as presenting at conferences. Visit
http://www.scottsongs.com to read more about his workshops, to hear his talks or to sample songs from his nine CD's. Send him an email at scott@scottsongs.com to receive articles like this one on a semi-occassional basis.

SCOTT'S SCHEDULE

IDYLLWILD, CA

September 9, 10, 11- The Whole Being Weekend! It's the best time that Southern California offers all year. It happens every September, and I'll be part of the opening and closing ceremonies, as well as leading workshops and giving a concert. Click on http://www.thewholebeingweekend.com/ for the scoop.

LAYTONVILLE, CA

September 17- I'll be playing at a weekend festival called EarthDance Northern California. I'll be offering improvisational music and comedy on Saturday Night. Check out www.earthdance.org/sf for more info...

FREMONT, CA

September 18- I'll be speaking and singing at Unity of Fremont. Following the service I'll be giving a workshop on self-love called The Greatest Love Of All. Call 510-797-5234 or visit http://www.unityoffremont.org for more info...

FAIRFAX, CA

September 24- Venus and I will be hosting an evening of Comedy Theatre Games in my home. Call me at 415 721 2954 for details.

PETALUMA, CA

October 2- I'll be speaking, singing, and giving a concert after the service at the Petaluma Church of Religious Science. Call 707-765-1528 for more info...

SAN JOSE, CA

October 9- I'll be speaking and singing and leading a workshop at Unity Community Church in San Jose. Call (408) 377-7555 for the scoop.

OAKLAND, CA

October 16- I'll be the guest vocalist at the First Church of Religious Science. Call 510 547-1979.


There are plenty of open dates in the fall, winter and spring. If you would like to discuss how easy it is to bring me to your neck of the woods and set me loose on your community, church, friends, etc., please call me at 415 721 2954 to talk about it. Or email me at scott@scottsongs.com if you prefer typing over chatting.




WARNING: To All Who May Be Reading This….

This is a time-sensitive message advising all people reading Scott Kalechstein's Muse-Letter not to go to any of the happenings listen above. These events, if attended, may cause huge outbreaks of peace, joy and laughter. I am a member of S.O.S, (Save Our Suffering) and I have snuck into Scott's computer to send out this message.

Scott is known for spreading contagious joy spores through music. His songs, sounding innocent enough at first listen, end up leaving the listener unable to maintain control of one's suffering. When left unchecked, these songs have been known to cause spontaneous outbursts of self-love and a shameless celebration of life. We urge you to delete and burn this muse-letter right away after reading it, as it may contain a virus that could cause you to smile against your will. If you have smiled at all while reading any part of this, you are already infected and may as well go to the Scott Kalechstein events anyway. There is no known cure.

P.S. Whatever you do, do not be tempted to visit Scott's website, http://www.scottsongs.com If you do, you might, in a moment of weakness, click on his CD section and actually listen to his music. People who have done this end up purchasing his CD's, which is how the joy spores have spread worldwide.


Review of Something New, Scott's latest CD.

THE LIGHT CONNECTION

The name of the CD says it all... this is indeed something new. San Diego musical entertainer Scott Kalechstein has truly come of age musically. This album showcases his well-known talent for putting spiritual and personal growth themes to music and at the same time it stands on its own as a musical accomplishment. My compliments!

Something New is Scott's ninth CD and the fifth album Scott has recorded with Peter Sprague and his band and backup singers, and they are truly in their element in this combo of jazz, pop, Latin, samba and swing. The album is truly a masterful collaboration, with Scott's vocals matching their moves from one style to another (he hits three different tempos in "The Call," the album's second cut) with the ease of a cat jumping up on a fence.

"My love affair with jazz started a long time ago," Scott tells us. He has long been a fan of Michael Franks, Steely Dan, and Al Jareau, and indeed he could be doubling for Michael Franks on some of these songs. Other major influences have included Ella Fitzgerald, Antonio Carlos Jobim, Duke Ellington, Cole Porter, George and Ira Gershwin, Billie Holiday, Diana Krall and Natalie Cole. A few years back he began taking jazz guitar lessons, and discovered a passion for learning the classics. "Without realizing it, I was building a jazz vocabulary of chords and consciousness. After a year of lessons, I began writing songs in my new vocabulary, and before I knew it, I had enough material for a new CD."

Another thing I noticed right away was that Scott has truly found his voice in this music. At times smooth and liquid, then full and spicy, he rocks us and cajoles us and makes us want to push "Play" again and again when it's done.

The lyrics themselves are also a departure from the style so many of us have known and loved so well over the years. The message hasn't changed, but you have to have ears to hear it as new age. If your ears are more mainstream, that's how you'll hear it. There's something for anyone and everyone here.

If you're a Scott Kalechstein fan, you have to have this album. If you don't know Scott's previous music, make beseech someone to give it to you for Christmas. You'll be glad you did.

-The Light Connection

CD's are $20.00 each, three for $50.00, postage & handling included.

My website, http://www.scottsongs.com is where to go to listen to song samples and to order...