Home Cooking

By Scott Kalechstein

"Patience is Natural To Those Who Trust"
- A Course In Miracles

In the fall of 1996 I began feeling the urge to get my own place and live alone. At that point I had never lived alone before. I had gone from parents to college roommates to lovers to housemates to lovers, but never alone.

Finding a place to live was always an easy task for me. I would make an announcement at the end of one of my local concerts that I needed a new home, and someone would let me know they were looking for a new housemate. I wasn't choosy, and if the universe served it on my plate, I accepted it. I fancied myself to be quite adept at going with the flow.

Looking back on it, I suspect my easy-going attitude was an expression of a lack of self-love; I didn't feel good enough to envision something I deeply wanted, put my order out and possibly receive it! Instead, I passively made the best of whatever came along. It is said that beggars can't be choosers and I, until that point, had been behaving more like a beggar than choosing to create what I wanted.

But I was ready to grow out of my identity as beggar and stretch into a bigger version of who I was. I was hungry to take a big step in the quality of my self-nurturing, much like learning to slow cook a gourmet meal after years of convenient but mediocre microwave dinners.

I began the search for my new home by getting clear on what I wanted and writing it down. I spent some time reflecting each morning on the following wish list:

My Ideal Living Space

1. 0 to I mile away from the beach, in Encinitas, Leucadia, Cardiff, or Solana Beach.
2. Tucked away in nature surrounded by abundant greenery, quiet and peaceful, yet five minutes or so away from civilization.
3. A lovely cottage type of place, with a bedroom, a kitchen, an office space, a living room and a nice bathroom with a bathtub and a shower with good water pressure.
4. Good sun exposure, bright and cheerful. The temperature is comfortable in the summer and comfortable in the winter.
5. There is a great street or pathway for my quiet walks.
6. I am free to make plenty of noise and express myself emotionally. I have plenty of space from my neighbors.
7. I have an abundance of garage space or some other convenient storage space for my CD's and other stuff.
8. The rent is $800 or less and the landlord is very nice, helpful and cooperative. They appreciate my music and my spirituality and consider it a blessing that I live there.
9. I have a cozy backyard with nice greenery and an abundance of sun!
10. I have free access to a nearby tennis court and swimming pool. Thank you, God!
11. The space has a feeling of a sanctuary. It feels safe, spiritual, joyous and exciting to be there. I have certainty that this is my space!

This or something better now manifests for me by November 1st for the highest good of all concerned. Yay, God! Thank you, God, for this beautiful space. I will use it to glorify Life and to experience and express deeper levels of peace, joy and beauty. I claim it now!

Now, besides covering all my metaphysical bases by imagining myself happily living there and giving thanks for my wonderful new home, I was also honoring the gods of practicality by telling everyone I knew what I was looking for, scouring the newspapers for ads (this was before Craig's List), and driving around my favorite neighborhoods in search of For Rent signs. Several places I visited were tempting, but I resisted the urge to compromise on a place that didn't meet the essential criteria. One place had everything I wanted except adequate sunlight. Another was perfect except that it was on a street with traffic noise. One place was so seductively close to my dream that I even went so far as to write out a deposit check, but after checking in with my heart I discerned that it, too, was not ‘the one'.

What was happening to me? Was I becoming a snob? Three months of courting close calls had gone by, and I was pretty frustrated. One day, while driving away from another near miss, I noticed I was starting to get weak in terms of my mental sobriety. What began as one glass of whine rapidly became thinking the hard stuff. "What's wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? How come I'm being deprived? Why am I being punished!?"

Weary of where these victim musings might be leading me, I decided to stop the binge dead in its tracks by introducing a two helpful, freeing, and empowering questions: "What soul qualities am I developing by having this search take longer than I want? What gifts can the universe be conspiring to bless me with through this challenge" Sometimes the right questions turn everything around instatnly. A one word answer trickled down my spine, causing my relapse to relax and my ego to withdraw the grievance I had placed before God: PATIENCE.

Ah, patience. What was that? And where can I get some right away? Much of my life I seemed to be on a quest for the quickest route to gratification. Taking another look at my wish list, I saw that it needed revising. Where it had said, "This or something better now manifests for me by November 1st", I changed the words to "This or something better now manifests for me ‘in God's perfect timing' for the highest good of all." My goal changed from getting a place as soon as possible to enjoying the process of finding one.

It was as if my inner child had been jumping up and down, demanding, "I want it now! I refuse to be peaceful until I get it!" We had a chat, my child-self and I, in which I let him rant and rave and vent his feelings. After some catharsis and validation he was willing to listen, and I coached him on the wisdom of patience and sold him on how much more fun we could have if we weren't so outcome oriented.

As soon as I emotionally let go of my attachment to when I would find it, it showed up. (!) Following up on an ad in a paper for a one-bedroom guesthouse, I walked into a charming cottage in my favorite quiet neighborhood. It met all the essentials on my list and then some. If I were a hand, this was my glove, and it fit perfectly. I imagined the writing I would do in it. I imagined how I would furnish it. I imagined filling the space with warm, loving energy. My head was buzzing as I filled out an application alongside many other people, some of them like me, drooling with hope and desire. This place was a rare find!

The next day I waited for the phone to ring as I petitioned the universe with prayer, meditation and some traditional begging. On the morning of the second day I got a call from my new (you can see I practice positive thinking) landlord. "Scott, we have a few more questions to ask you. We've offered the place to a woman who's not sure if she's going to take it; she will be letting us know this afternoon. If she declines, you are next in line." I spent the following five hours feeling a wild range of emotions, including waves of fear, which came up strongly as I allowed myself to feel my desire for this place. I understood why I had spent much of my life not going for what I passionately desired. Mediocrity seemed a safe haven from the fear of loss and the fear of rejection. I took a long walk on a deserted beach, breathing deeply, shouting my thoughts to God, trembling out my fears of not getting it, while affirming my faith that I was being led to my highest good, and if this wasn't the place, it would be something better. That afternoon I got the call, and two weeks later I moved in.

I lived in that cottage for seven glorious years. I adored the fruit trees outside my window – avocado trees, apples, oranges, even a peach tree. Besides free access to the fruit, I also enjoyed a delicious feeling of satisfaction, knowing that I stretched out of my comfort zone to manifest living there. For the first time in my life, I had not been willing to settle for anything less, and the universe faithfully re-arranged itself to accommodate my new picture of reality - as it always does, when we approach going about fulfilling our desires with the three P's - patience, persistence, and perseverance.

When stocking that home with appliances, I decided not to purchase a microwave oven. It seemed contrary to the direction Spirit was guiding me in. Microwaves are about speed. And speed, whether a drug or an attitude of impatience, kills the joys of the process, as well as the quality and potency of the finished product. The finer things in life usually cook up slowly, whether they are gourmet meals, lasting relationships, or an ideal living space.


Scott Kalechstein is a coach, speaker, minister, a recording artist, a troubadour, a lighthearted miracle mischief maker, and a friend and guide to those making the transition from fear to love. He travels the United States, as well as Canada and Europe, speaking and singing at conferences, Unity and Religious Science Churches, and wherever people are open to humor and playfulness as a delivery system for truth and wisdom. He can be surfed at www.scottsongs.com and reached at scott@scottsongs.com.

SCOTT'S SCHEDULE

MENDOCINO, CA

February 14 - I'll be the guest speaker and singer at the Mendocino Center for Spiritual Living, Following the service I will be leading a workshop called The Conscious Relationship Workout. Call 707 964-1458, or visit Linked text for more details.

NAPA, CA

February 21 - I'll be both speaking and playing at the services and then giving a workshop called The Conscious Relationship Workout at the Napa Valley Center For Spiritual Living. Visit Linked text or call (707) 252-4847 for more info.



DELAVAN, WISCONSIN

February 25 - 28 - I will be the comic conference troubadour and workshop leader at an event called Making Choices, Moving Forward - Claiming Your Life Through The Law of Attraction. Please visit Linked text for more details.

ROWE, MASSACHUSETTS

May 29-31 - Every Memorial Day Weekend I offer my music to complement the love and wisdom of Joyce and Barry Vissell at a lovely and powerfully healing Couples Retreat. Committed relationships are supported, renewed, celebrated, and often helped through rough isssues. Contact Rowe at retreat@RoweCenter.org or call: (413) 339-4954 or visit Linked text

June 3, 4, and 5 are currently open for East Coast gigs....

HICKSVILLE, LONG ISLAND

June 6 - Religious Science Long Island is proud to have me as the guest speaker and singer, which will be followed by a workshop, the topic which will soon be chosen and announced. More info can be found by calling (516)-822-9314 or visiting Linked text




FREMONT, CA

June 27 - I'll be singing at the services at the Tri City Church of Religious Science. Following the second service I will be offering a concert. Please visit Linked text for more details.


ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI

October 15-17 - I'll be the conference troubadoudar at Be The Love Conference. Visit Linked text for details.


TORONTO, CANADA

November 5-7 - I'll be the conference troubadour and keynote comic once again at the 2010 Energy Psychology Conference in Toronto. Visit Linked text

BERLIN, GERMANY

November 19-21 - I'll be singing at a conference of osteopathic physicians.






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Lightening Up About Death

By Scott Kalechstein

"Death is like taking off a tight shoe."
-Emmanuel, Emmanuel's Book

The habit we have on this planet of treating death as an unfortunate, tragic, and rather permanent end to the show is fast losing popularity. People are exploring attitudinal alternatives, new ways of looking at death without perceptions of fear and finality. Both John Edwards and James Van Praugh have had daytime television shows where they apparently receive messages for members of the studio audience from their dearly departed. The times are a'changing.

What happens when we depart our bodies is a question of great interest to anyone who plans to die. I was raised by atheist parents who asked me to accept that there's no such thing as life after death. But that didn't seem to compute with what I learned in high school physics, that energy could not be destroyed, and that all matter, including you and me, was made up of energy.


These matters of life and death seemed quite serious, and, like everyone around me, I learned to treat them as life and death matters.

By way of contrast, there are plenty of folks who are non-serious, non-attached, and even nonchalant about death, and many of them live in India. Have you ever flown on a commuter airline from Bombay to Calcutta? As you are getting ready to take off, the flight attendant says something like this: "Namaste, and welcome to Air India. In the unlikely event of a crash landing, please exit your body through the crown chakra, and start heading down the tunnel to the white light. You may see some deceased relatives, but don't worry, they won't push your buttons. They will just be there to escort you to your next plane. And, if this happens, we want to thank you in advance for dying Air India, where we have transitioned more passengers than any other carrier, including Re-United Airlines. And please, if you are not already a member, don't forget to sign up for our Frequent Dier Program!"

Yes, I have an active imagination, and I am not afraid to use it! One day I decided to lighten up about death by fantasizing an after death experience and living to tell about it. My imaginary brush with death left me with an unwavering sense of life's eternalness, along with a cosmic sense of humor that has never left me. It helped me shed layers upon layers of premature rigor mortis, and I can now say with gratitude and glee that there is consciousness on both sides of the fence. But is the grass greener? Perhaps my story will help answer that.

It all started when a doctor friend of mine asked me if I would mind being clinically dead for a study he was conducting. I instantly consented, much preferring a temporary bout with death to the traffic school I was signed up for on that day.

I went to the research center where he worked, "The Clinic For The Clinically Dead". After signing some release forms making it clear that he was not liable if I didn't make it back, I was shown to the room. A graph was set up to monitor my heartbeat, and I nervously waited for the straight line that would mark the beginning of my journey. My friend tried to relax me with an attempt at humor. "Try to sneak some stock market tips back through customs," he said as he stuck a needle in my arm. He then pulled a white sheet over my head and turned on some music to ease my transition. The last thing I heard as I left my body was the Beatles singing "Magical Mystery Tour".

Suddenly I was skateboarding down a long tunnel towards a breathtakingly beautiful white light. As I got closer, I passed various billboards, apparently advertisements for various resorts where I could stay while I was there. One sign particularly caught my eye: Check-In Center For The Newly Dead - Two Kilometers. "Wow," I thought to myself, "the metric system!"

When I arrived there I met my guardian angel, who already knew I was only in town for a temporary death experience. She gave me a visitor's pass, which read Good For One After Death Experience. Expires When You Do. I put it in my pocket and left with my angel.

She took me on a journey that can best be described as a tourist's dream come true. We explored many worlds, other dimensions, and higher levels of reality. I met my grandparents, who assured me that they were doing fine, had been overseeing my life with great pride and affection, and loved me dearly. My grandmother added that I could use a haircut.

The highlight of the trip was the nightlife. We visited a swinging place called The Other Side. The sign by the door said No One Newly Dead Admitted Without Deceased Parent, Grandparent Or Guardian. I was beginning to realize that the spiritual world is full of signs, just like the masters have been telling us all along.

I danced the night away with a wildly attractive space entity with a glowing light body and a wall-to-wall aura. After a while she purred in my ear, "Your dimension or mine?" Before I could answer my angel whisked me away, returning me to the glorious white light where my journey had begun. It was time to go back to my body. A sign read Thank You For Your Stay. Please Come Again. I made my way through the tunnel once more, this time on a surfboard with the Beach Boys serenading me in the background.

My doctor friend welcomed me back and listened intently to my tale. I thanked him profusely for the experience, which showed me first hand that oh yeah, life goes on, that death is simply a portal, and that there's a close encounter waiting for me at The Other Side. Ahhhhhh…

"The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."
-Richard Bach, Illusions


"Teacher of God, your one assignment could be stated thus: Accept no compromise in which death plays a part. Do not believe in cruelty, nor let attack conceal the truth from you. What seems to die has been but misperceived and carried to illusion. Now it becomes your task to let the illusion be carried to the truth."
-A Course In Miracles




Scott Kalechstein lives in California and serves as a a singer, songwriter, speaker, humorist, recording artist, minister, and workshop leader. He thought about not mentioning any of those things and trying to come across more humble, but decided against it. You can visit him in cyberspace at www.scottsongs.com or e-mail him at scott@scottsongs.com