Of Fear And Rollercoasters

By Scott Kalechstein

One fine day the great past president Franklin D. Roosevelt channeled the future Tony Robbins and issued a peppy platitude that uplifted a nation in the throes of the Great Depression without ever lifting a Prozac:

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

That was 1933. I would love to say that in 2005 I am finding the phrase a great source of inspiration and encouragement.

But I'm not.

I do fear fear. Most of us do. Fear is scary. That's what makes it fear. I'd much rather arrange life so I never have to partake of the stuff. Oh, Great Bartender, give me a tall glass of the usual- easy on the risks, heavy on the familiar!

Here is a short inventory of the various ways that I run, not walk, away from fear, semi-successfully convincing myself that I'm not afraid: resisting a risk, resisting a rest, judging what I don't understand, over-eating and drinking, pretending I'm not angry, pretending I'm not hurt, pretending I'm not scared, and on a more subtle level, purchasing platitudes that fit snugly over my ability to consider, and possibly even learn from, points of view other than my own.

In the Webster dictionary/Kalechstein edition, a platitude is defined as a sentence, often found on refrigerators, designed to shield humans from the raw vulnerability of life. Platitudes may contain some relative truth. Yet they are often held as absolutes, thereby becoming dogma. For example: God never gives you a challenge without also giving you the strength and means to overcome it… mental institutions and graveyards are filled with people who would beg to differ!

With my no-latitude attitude on platitudes, you would be correct in assuming my refrigerator door has plenty of space for rent.

There are times when I look fear in the eyes and march forward bravely and platitude-free into the unknown… like now, I hope! I'm presently fixing to move my body and my life five hundred miles north to Marin to take the next step with my beloved. That step isn't marriage, mind you, or even living together. It's being neighbors. Sharing the same zip code. You see, I'm a big fan of proceeding slowly and wisely in relationship… taking small, steady steps, gently dealing with my fears that arise along the way.

Some miniscule fears have been coming up for me lately- like suffocating, losing my sense of self, and having to relinquish my grip on the remote control!

My girlfriend, who gives me all the space in the world, has been very understanding. She too has had her terrifying contractions of claustrophobia in this relationship. She knows that periods of processing are purifying pre-cursors to powerful, positive changes. (Please forgive me. I'm p'ing on the page so I don't do it in my pants.)

On a few occasions I've trembled in her supportive presence and thoroughly unloaded my worst-case scenarios and dramatic ‘what if' fantasies. She offered hugs, kisses, empathy, compassionate listening, and some wise words. She's a keeper!

Relationship is quite a ride. As a child, I used to love rides…. What happened??

A few years ago I went to an amusement park with some friends. They coaxed me (post-adolescent peer pressure) to get on a ride that challenged both my fear of heights and my biological ability to retain ownership of the contents of my stomach. I believe the technical term is ‘throw-up ride'. A bunch of young kids were on it too, and as the ride went up, way up, they were laughing, screaming, and having great fun.

I wasn't. My belly was knotted in protest and I was dizzy with fear. Suddenly the ride went straight down. Fast. I spent the time hating every moment and wondering why anyone would pay money for an experience like this. I noticed that the kids, screaming all the way down, totally loved it. What had I missed? What did they know that I must have forgotten?

Last month I found out. My girlfriend convinced me to ride a roller coaster with her. I said yes mostly out of wanting to promote a fearless (macho) self-image. It was only after sitting down in the front car and looking up that I realized I made a big mistake. The safety bar locked into place; somehow I did not feel safe. We started going up at a snail's pace, agonizingly slow. My knees began shaking. Panic gripped me. What had I gotten myself into? Damn my codependency and macho tendencies! There was no turning back, and I was dreading it.

Just as we reached the highest point and were about to rapidly descend, my higher self spoke and gave me the key to enjoying roller coasters. The still small voice was quite large and commanding: "SCREAM, SCOTT, SCREAM! EXPRESS YOURSELF!!"

I started making strange and interesting sounds at the very top of my lungs. I threw a primal tantrum and held nothing back. Very quickly my fear transmuted into a tingling excitement. Laughter bubbled up and out. My need to be on the ground (and in control) dissolved into trust and exhilaration. Whee!!!! I loved it so much I wanted to ride again.

Perhaps the presence of fear can be a sign that we are courageously buying a ticket to the roller-coaster of change, saying yes to the ride's ups and downs, and not paying allegiance to our ego's plan to keep us small, safe, secure, and un-challenged. Perhaps fear plays an accompanying role in any choice for greater aliveness, passion and healing. And perhaps it would behoove us to rediscover that child-like ability to accept and enjoy fear… deeply breathing, tingling, trembling, and, yes, screaming at times.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

I would take it a step further. We have nothing to fear. Not even fear. Enjoying ourselves while trembling is a wondrous step in the evolution of becoming free of fear.

I feel a passion to move, and to keep on moving. I've been around long enough to know that staying in one place is not only undesirable, but downright impossible. We are always moving, changing, and growing. Riding the rollercoaster is what we signed up for on this planet. It's non-negotiable. The more we say yes to the ride, the more we enjoy ourselves.

I wish you great delight in the amusement park.

Enjoy the fear. Permission to scream. Have fun!

"Life is a daring adventure or nothing."
-Helen Keller

Scott Kalechstein is a modern day troubadour and inspirational speaker. He travels through the United States, Canada and Europe giving concerts, talks and workshops, as well as presenting at conferences.Visit http://www.scottsongs.com to read more about his work or to sample songs from his nine CD's. Send him an email at scott@scottsongs.com to receive articles like this one on a bi-monthly basis.

SCOTT'S SCHEDULE

SACRAMENTO, CA

March 6- I'll be the featured guest speaker and singer at the Religious Science Center For Creative Living. After the service I'll be leading a workshop on self-love called The Greatest Love Of All. Call 916-966-9960 for details.

SAN JOSE

March 20- I'll be the featured guest soloist at the Center For Spiritual Enlightenment. Call 408 283 0221 for the scoop.

SANTA ROSA, CA

April 3- I'll be strumming and singing at the Santa Rosa Church of Religious Science. Call 707 528 0605 for info.
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SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH

April 22, 23, 24- I'll be speaking and singing and creating Divine Mischief at an International Celebration and Tribute Conference on A Course In Miracles. Call Rev. Sue Borg at 801-261-2227 or email sueborg@xmission.com


Here is a letter I recieved about the new CD...

Yo Scott:

Wow! First, Donna and I want to thank you immensely--I mean, really immensely--for your new CD! Again, may I say, WOW! It's fabulous! Your creative use of your mind, your unique "take" on life, and your ever-evolving spirit really come through on this CD in a totally engaging and powerful way.

We've loved your past recordings, but--you're right!--this one blew our socks off.

My first words to Donna were: "This guy is a sheer genius!" (It's the effect of those sheer panties that you wear!!!). Then, after pausing a few more seconds (no, I wasn't fantasizing about your sheer panties!!), I said: "You know, with the band accompanying him, Scott is a blend of Oprah and Jimmy Buffett." Finally, after a bit more pause, I choked out these words: "If I had a spare million bucks on my hands, the first thing I'd love to do with that money is to sponsor Scott to a level of national (and beyond) prominence--performing all over the place."

So there, Scott, you have the benefit (or curse, as you prefer!) of my mumblings to Donna, who (because of her poor choice in marrying me) has the unenviable job in life of listening to me. I really mean all those words--and do believe that I'm implying (subtly, of course, since I would never dare be direct with anyone!) that it'd be a great idea to hold your sights to a position of "larger stage," national prominence, etc. Oh, yes! Now I remember the fourth thing that I said to poor, unsuspecting Donna: "I think that, if Scott were on the Oprah show just one time--for example, singing "Freedom Child" or "Mr. Right"--his future would be assured."

Now I understand that you have no other interest in life than hearing my musings to Donna (!!!), Scott, but I wanted you to hear them (okay, read them) as both a style of hypnotic message about your deservingness to go bigger time ... and as an indication that Donna and I are blending our spirit, heart and soul with yours for the sake of your riding whatever wave of success that your destiny has in store for you.

With all that said, try this on as a publishable blurb (testimonial): Scott's Something New totally grabs me! His creative mind, amusing lyrics, and tantalizing music captivate my inquiring mind, engage my willing heart, and transform my eager soul--all the while tickling my funny bone in places it's never been tickled."

I love you, Scott ... and will listen often and excitedly to your new album. Thanks once again!

Warmly -- Bill Baumann

(P.S. I did indeed remove my shoes before entering your website--which I also loved!)

And, an email from his wife...

Dear Scott,

I just had to take time to write to you and tell you the excitement, fun and joy I have had listening to and thoroughly loving your "Something New" CD.

Bill and I have needed to make two trips this week to Las Vegas (a two hour drive) and the drive was made perfect by having your CD playing as we traveled down the road! (both times)...

I actually love the whole CD but my favorites are Freedom Child, Mr. Right and Never Again. When I listen to the lyrics and laugh and feel so playful; when I listen to the beat my feet just want to dance. I kept thinking how much fun you must have had making this CD.

Scott, I love the words, the rhythm, the variety, all the instrumentals... what a group of musicians you've assembled around you!.

I feel you've grown to a whole new level, and that there will be a huge audience for this music. Bill and I are Jimmy Buffett fans and have many of his CD's. Your CD reminded me of his love of life, his view of reality, understanding it but not taking it too seriously!

What kinds of gigs are you doing these days? I put you in my intentions that you reach the whole world!!!!

Thank you so much for sharing your music with us. I LOVE IT,LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

Donna I. Bauman

Here's what some folks have been saying about Something New....

I had the GREAT PRIVILEDGE of listening to your new CD over and over again as I drove home to Santa Fe. How I LOVE it! Each song on the album is better than the next. I love the jazz combo you recorded with. The songs have the style of Diana Krall the softness and warmth of Nora Jones, but have lyrics with a depth and soul that only you could write. There is so much strength, humor and originality in these songs! This CD takes the cake!

Once again your music has opened my heart, has me laughing at my self (ah that ego, exposed once again), and inspired me to continue to be more of me...thank you for this great CD.

I am so grateful to have your new CD! It is fabulous! It arrived for me two days after I rushed my mom to the hospital with a heart attack. What a welcomed relief to immerse myself in this music... Every song is a gem...My favorite is "On the Same Page", quickly followed by "A Little Levity", and "The Call". Love the way you ended the CD... Keep up the good work...it nourishes my soul!

"SOMETHING NEW" is up there to #1 with me this week...I've made some big changes in the last two weeks. Thanks---the music helped a lot.

It's wonderful--the finest production values I've heard yet, in your music. Just lovely.

Your new CD is outstanding! Laurie and I have loved listeningto it.

And From Scott Himself: I'm so proud. I'm a proud father. I hate playing favorites when it comes to my musical children, but, in all honesty... this is my best CD. By far. Hands down. Case closed. I can't imagine anyone listening to this and not being totally touched, uplifted, stirred, tickled and thrilled. Expect a few belly laughs, as there are songs here that will make your face ache from laughter. But there are also some deeply romantic tunes, as well as a few that are sexy and sultry. And they all offer inspiration, hope, education and
encouragement. Let these songs take you where they will."

CD's are $20.00 each, three for $50.00, postage & handling included.

To order:

Call CD Baby at 1-800-BUY-MY-CD or visit http://www.cdbaby.com/scottsongs and order over a secure server with your credit card.